Adult Siblings With Aging Parents

February 18, 2010

Interview with Francine Russo, author of the book They're Your Parents, Too!: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy

_______________

Mike Carruthers:
Adult children often become the caregivers to their elderly parents and when siblings are involved it can get complicated.

Francine Russo:
It is a major emotional passage and emotions will be blown way out of proportion.
 

Francine Russo, author of the book They're Your Parents, Too! …

All of the experts will tell you we fall back on our old roles even if they’re incredibly dysfunctional. So for example it’s very common for the big sister (who always did everything in the family when you were kids cause she was older) to automatically assume the role of caregiver and for her siblings to just let her do everything until she burns out.

It’s common and often quite practical for one child to become the primary caregiver.

The major difference between the families that work well and those that don’t is everybody in the family gives the caregiver emotional support. Meaning calling up and saying, “How are you doing.” Not just how is Mom doing, “Can I do anything for you? Thank you so much.” – and not criticizing them.

And even if you live far away you can still help care for your aging parents.

There are many things technology allows you to do. Anything you can do online or by phone you can do on a regular basis, whether it’s ordering groceries or paying the bills or filing the insurance forms – you could do that and each person should do what they’re good at.
 

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here