Do You Really Know What Love Is?

January 29, 2010

Interview with Greg Baer, author of the book Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever

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Mike Carruthers:
Have you ever experienced real love? Probably not, according to this guy…

Greg Baer M.D.:
Almost nobody, and I mean like less than 1% of the people on the planet, understand what love is - that's the problem.
 

Dr. Greg Baer, author of the book Real Love in Marriage ...

Real love is the thing that we've got to have more than anything else in order to be happy. And real love is where I care about your happiness without wanting anything from you in return. And it's not real love when, for example, I do what you want and you like me, that is what most people call love. It's real love when I screw up, when I'm stupid, when I'm flawed and inconvenient and you don't feel disappointed or irritated at me - that's real love.

Dr. Baer says we first learned about love when we were kids.

We all remember this - I mean when we were good, people patted us on the head and they said, "Aw Mike, you're such a good boy." We love that! But the instant we screwed up - you fought with your sister, you made too much noise in the car - you instantly saw people became disappointed, irritated, frustrated. What we learned was this lesson; when you're good, I love you; when you're not, I don't. That is not unconditional, or real love.