Getting People to Agree With You

February 15, 2010

Interview with Melanie Billings-Yun, author of the book Beyond Dealmaking: Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships

_______________

Mike Carruthers:
You negotiate when you try to get someone else to agree to do something, but getting someone to agree to do something and having them actually do it are not the same thing.

Melanie Billings-Yun:
Psychological studies have shown that people do not feel committed to agreements that they felt they were bullied into or forced to make and will find ways to get back at you.
 

Negotiation expert Melanie Billings-Yun, author of the book Beyond Dealmaking... 

We have this little fairness scale in our head and when someone has really tipped that fairness scale, either by doing something that we feel is not fair to us or simply disrespectful of us, we find ways to get back at them.

A perfect example of this, says Melanie, is when a company needs to cut wages in order to stay in business.

And they really go through a discussion with the employees, explain the situation, listen to their ideas, show them some respect the company goes on similar level of morale where they simply announce we’re going to have to lower your wages because we’re in financial difficulties – in company theft goes up 700%. People are trying to get back at you.

Respect and empathy go a long way in trying to get people to do what you want.

If people understand why they are doing something they will buy into doing it. If people simply do it because you order them they will give you the minimal level of cooperation.
 

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here