A Great Idea To Improve Your Relationship

February 2, 2009
Interview with Noelle Nelson, author of Your Man is Wonderful

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Mike Carruthers:
If you want to keep your relationship happy for a long, long time…

Noelle Nelson:
A lot of it is understanding that you're attracted to someone because they have certain good qualities and that those good qualities are the very things that need to be appreciated and valued as the years go on.

Noelle Nelson, author of the book Your Man is Wonderful

Not taken for granted and forgotten about, which is what most of us tend to do and then we pick to death at the stuff that we don't like.

This is really about a shift in focus from the negative to the positive and there are always positive things to focus on.

Let's say he's a neat freak and he goes behind you and restacks things in the dishwasher or he refolds the laundry or whatever. If he's a neat freak I promise you he also pays close attention to the family checkbook and makes sure it's balanced, he also sees to it that your car is always in good running shape. In other words people are a cluster of traits - if you look at the whole picture, suddenly you start to realize that what you thought was a curse (like he goes behind you and restacks the dishes) is actually a blessing.

Noelle says that when you begin to focus on the things someone does that you like rather than the things that you don't like - good things start to happen.

I call it the appreciation challenge - it takes twenty-one days to form a habit so if for twenty-one days you greet your mate when he or she comes to the door with a big fat smile, a hug and a kiss I promise you things will change in your relationship for the better.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here.