- Length: 2:30 minutes (2.29 MB)
- Format: MP3 Mono 44kHz 128Kbps (CBR)
January 3, 2011
Interview with Amir Levine, author of the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Findand KeepLove
There’s a secure attachment style in which people are really warm and loving and they’re just great in relationships. There’s the ancient attachment style, that’s people who they love to be close but they’re very, very sensitive to a disruption in that closeness. And then there is the avoidance attachment style, that’s people who want to be close, they want to be in a relationship but something funny happens once they get into a relationship. They start pushing you away because they don’t feel too comfortable with too much closeness.
So as you might imagine not every attachment style works with the other 2.
The problem happens mostly when someone who has an avoidance attachment style and someone who has an ancient style get together. Because they really tend to exacerbate each other’s bad tendencies and they can make each other miserable.
Interestingly it’s possible to change your attachment style.
Usually the change happens when you are going out with someone who’s secure. And they can draw you into more security because they’re great in relationships and they slowly but surely make you feel really comfortable and low and behold you become more secure.