Human Attraction - Part 2

February 25, 2010

Interview with Allan Pease, author of the book Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love: Solving the Mystery of Attraction

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Mike Carruthers:
In male/female attraction…

Allan Pease:
One of the things we found with women (everywhere in the world, we went to 33 cultures) they’re attracted to a man who can make them laugh.
 

Allan Pease, author of the book Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love…

Because men secretly know that women are attracted to men who can tell a joke, for 2 reasons: 1st he gets high status amongst other men because he can do it and secondly, that in laughing you release a chemical called endorphin from the back of the brain which builds your immune system. So it almost appears that women somehow appear to be aware of the fact that their health is going to be better with a man who can make her laugh.

Chemistry and hormones are what attract us to each other in the first place, but…

Couples who last long-term are those we’ve found that have mutual core values and beliefs. They believe the same basic things about kids, finance (money-who spends it where and when), social, family - how we entertain them. When the hormonal things wears off, which is somewhere between 9 and 12 months and if there’s nothing left such as the core values and beliefs then the relationship will usually fail.

And why does it seem that relationships are so difficult to maintain? Allan says you have to look back at the thousands of years of human history.

Men’s history has been catching the other guy’s resources, invading his country and taking what he owns. But when it comes to the home front, women have always controlled what happens in the home, what happens with relationships. Men are more interested in the resource side of things and compared to women they’re not very acutely aware of relationships and how they function.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here