The Importance of Making Chit-Chat

 August 21, 2009

Interview with Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk
www.debrafine.com
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Mike Carruthers:
Chit-chat, small talk - whatever you call it, it is important.

Debra Fine:
Anybody listening who thinks about a romantic relationship they're in and/or a business friendship - it either started with small talk and then developed into something more connected or it started with something heavy-duty and then because of small talk, the friendship was developed.

Debra Fine, author of the book The Fine Art of Small Talk

It's an ingredient - it's probably not the most important ingredient obviously, but let's face it, if you're getting interviewed for a job, they're going to pick the person they feel most comfortable with - we all do that. We spend time with people we feel comfortable with.

Somebody has to be the first to start small talk, and it's always a bit frightening to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation.

The best way to make yourself feel comfortable about walking up to someone new is to remind yourself of this very important fact: people do not decide if they will talk to us based on what we say to them as an ice breaker. People decide before we open our mouths whether they're willing to talk to us. Whether I'm too tall or too short; I might not want to talk to you because I had a fight with my husband and I don't want to talk to anybody; I'm just in a bad mood. People never decide based on what the ice breaker is.

But if you do need an ice breaker…

The best ice breakers are usually ones that ask questions where free information comes into place. If we're at the same convention or conference, the free information is that we're at this conference - so we can say, "I'm here as an exhibitor, what brought you to this event?"

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here.