Improve Your Marriage Or Relationship Now

September 7, 2011

Interview with Dr. Arthur Samuels, author of the book Zen and the Art of Intimacy: The Simple Path of Passion, Fidelity and Love

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Mike Carruthers:
If you could do one thing to instantly improve your marriage or relationship, would you do it? Cause there is one thing.

Dr. Arthur Samuels:
You have to give up being critical. The way I do it is whenever I feel anything loving towards my wife the way she looks, the way she acts, what she does – I say, “I love you” and I mean it from the heart.
 

Psychiatrist  Dr. Arthur Samuels, author of the book Zen and the Art of Intimacy, says criticism and anger are deadly to a relationship. And that idea that you should express your anger and not keep it all bottled in…

We used to teach that years ago, it just does not work in intimate relationships; with children, with partners, with lovers - it simply does not work. Now that doesn’t mean that the anger isn’t justified, it’s always justified.

But getting angry and critical never solves the problem. Now this isn’t easy at first, however…

If you give up criticism change it to inspiration, you give up anger and turn that into power and reason then you’re able to communicate - then you can bring romance in.

In relationships in our culture, Dr. Samuels thinks physical beauty is overrated.

Physical beauty can be a part of a good relationship but it has to be a small part it disappears with years. I look at my wife’s wrinkles, she’s getting older and I think of the qualities I love about here immediately and she becomes beautiful.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here