The Languages Of Love - Part 2

February 9, 2011

Interview with Gary Chapman, author of the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

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Mike Carruthers:
Ever wonder how to get your partner to show more interest in you? Well first you need to understand something.

Gary Chapman:
Every one of us deeply needs emotional love, in fact almost all psychologists or anyone else who studies human behavior recognizes that the deepest emotional need we have is the need for love.
 

Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman, author of the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts...

And if you’re married the person that you would most like to love you is your spouse. So if you can understand that if I can tap into that deep need within them and learn how to express love in their language, they are far more likely to reciprocate. It’s the most powerful thing you can do in a marriage.

So in other words you go first start by giving your partner what they want.

And then about 3 or 4 weeks down the road you say to them, “On a scale of 0-10 how am I doing as a wife or a husband?” Let them give you rating and just say, “What could I do to bring it up?” And they give you a suggestion and so you kind of let them teach you what would be meaningful to them. And so every month you kind of run that little check 0-10. And when they start giving you a high rating then you start making requests of them. “Ah you know something would be really helpful to me” – and you share with them.  And if they do it – you feel loved.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here