New Science On Parenting Part 2

November 24, 2009

Interview with Po Bronson, author of the book NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

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Mike Carruthers:
Parents are often concerned about how their children get along with each other. So here’s a statistic you might find interesting…

Po Bronson:
From the ages of 3 to 10, on average, siblings will  - for every hour they spend together - they will get into arguments 3 and a half times per hour. It will add up to 10 minutes of every hour spent arguing.
 

Po Bronson

Po Bronson, author of the book NurtureShock…

In observational studies they’re 7 times meaner to their siblings than they are to friends. So the reasoning is really quite clear, if you’re really mean to your friends at some point they’re going to stop being your friend. Siblings, there is no relief from this - they’re genetically sentenced to live together. So there’s no incentive.

But there’s some interesting research on what makes good sibling relationships last over time.

And what seems to really matter is not to worry so much about how often they fight. What really matters is how often they have fun together. If they have fun a lot and fight a lot then they tend to have great relationships over time. It’s actually siblings who really don’t care about each other they don’t have good times or fight who don’t have a relationship even as adults.

So it seems more important for parents to encourage siblings to play together...

And worry less about resolving their conflicts all the time and focus on how we get out of fights – it’s more about how we get into good times.

To hear Part 1 of this interview, click here.
 

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here.