Something You Should Know about Language

June 18, 2012

Interview with Barry Michaels, author of the book The Tools: Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity

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Mike Carruthers:
Have you ever felt insecure of reluctant to go up and talk to someone whose opinion you care about? There’s a reason for that.

Barry Michaels:
Everybody has what Carl Jung the great Swiss psychiatrist called a shadow. The shadow is strangely enough a living being, living inside of you of which you are deeply ashamed and embarrassed.
 

March 3, 2012

Interview with Bernard T. Ferrari, author of the book Power Listening: Mastering the Most Critical Business Skill of All

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Mike Carruthers:
What does it take to be a really good listener? Well, a couple of things…

Bernard T. Ferrari:
The first thing you have to display is respect, if you don’t respect the person that you’re talking to and understanding that they have information that will help you make better decisions, then you’re in deep yogurt right off the bat.
 

Bernard Ferrari, author of the book Power Listening...

The second is you have to be quiet; it’s hard to listen when you’re talking. So I always use the ubiquitous rule of 80/20 I try to stay silent 80% of the time in a conversation. And then 20% of the time I am quite purposeful in trying to get further into what that person is telling me.

Why are so many people lousy listeners?

A couple reasons, 1 is it takes a lot of energy – I truly believe you burn more calories listening than you do talking. The second we confuse leadership with giving instruction, follow me here, do this, do that. A true leadership is helping people and helping yourself come to better decisions - and listening is really the front end of doing that.

Of course not everyone you listen to knows what they’re talking about.

But I would recommend that you really question whether you know more than those people do. And what is your mode of listening - to make sure that you haven’t been blunting your ability to be surprised.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here
 

December 12, 2011

Interview with Kristi Hedges, author of the book The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others

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Mike Carruthers:
Presence it’s a hard concept to define and yet…

Kristi Hedges:
We’re all experts at other people’s presence. We know when someone walks into the room we can almost feel what their presence is and what their command is of a room and the energy that they bring into the room. However if someone says to you, “What’s your presence?” you’re probably going to stumble a little bit in trying to describe it.
 

October 27, 2011

Interview with Dr. Daniel Siegel, author of the book The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive

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Mike Carruthers:
Whenever you’re in the situation where someone else is upset and you need them to calm down, about the last thing you should say to them is to calm down.

Dr. Daniel Siegel:
I think the intention of calm down makes a lot of sense but the action to achieve it is often misplaced. In other words  if you say, “CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN” – that usually doesn’t get people to calm down.