Problems With Parents Today

September 27, 2012

Interview with Amy McCready, author of the book If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling

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Mike Carruthers:
Today’s parents have a real tendency to over-praise their children.

Amy McCready:
For instance one of the famous praise lines is oh you’re so smart. Well the research shows very clearly that when kids are praised for being smart they feel this need to protect that smart label.
 

Amy McCready

Amy McCready, author of the book If I Have to Tell You One More Time ...

And in the research studies those kids who were being praised for being smart were less likely to take on more challenging tasks and more challenging course work and so forth. So it’s actually having the opposite effect.

What works better is to praise specific things that lead to a successful outcome.

Like hard work, perseverance, team work, extra time in the drive way practicing your free throw whatever it is those are the specific things that contribute to a successful outcome. Rather than you’re just so awesome and you’re so smart because there’s a lot of kids out there that are awesome and smart.

Today’s parents have also been accused at being helicopter parents.

That now that has sort of morphed into lawn mower parenting where we mow down any potential obstacle and we pave the way so our kids have smooth sailing the whole. And that may mean pulling strings to get the best teacher and this whole lawn mower parenting thing is really becoming a very big problem because our kids don’t learn how to stand up for themselves and speak to an adult and inquire about the test grade if mom and dad are always doing it.