Putting Fun Back Into Marriage

May 29, 2009
Interview with Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

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Mike Carruthers:
Just about every married couple will tell you that the relationship today isn't as fun as it used to be. So, what happens?

Scott Haltzman:
What happens is, people tend to get into the routine of marriage. And it loses its excitement and its spontaneity and it's not surprising that people start to find it's not fun anymore.

Psychologist Scott Haltzman, author of the book The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever says it's natural to get tired and bored with the same old thing.

One of the reasons that people are drawn toward affairs and infidelity is because that person that suddenly they're meeting at work seems so interested in them and so attentive toward them. From a medical perspective that's a chemical or hormone in the brain called dopamine being released - and you're drawn toward it almost like an addiction. So one of the things that we've got to do with our partners is to find ways to increase the dopamine in their brains.

And that means more than just a date night once a week, because that too can get boring. Scott says you need to come up with new and different things to do to keep that dopamine flowing.

I'm talking about injecting some sense of humor, some spontaneity and some real adventure back into the relationship. Doing something as simple as just coming home one day and bringing a movie and a pizza or calling and arranging the babysitter so that as soon as you go home you can pick your wife up - just spending time doing activities that one or the other or both of you enjoy.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here.