Relationship Tune-Up

October 5, 2012

Interview with Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of the book 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great

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Mike Carruthers:
When it comes to keeping a relationship fun and interesting…

Dr. Terri Orbuch:
What people forget to do is sweat the small stuff. And I know that sounds opposite to what we’ve heard about.
 

Dr. Terri Orbuch

Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of the book 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great …

What I have found is that it’s not the big challenges like a health issue or a job loss that tears happiness apart. But it’s really the small everyday challenges, “He didn’t listen, she’s not paying attention to me.”

So think about making small positive changes.

For example; you can say, “I love you” and that small phrase can really make your partner feel happy and special. “I would choose you again, you make my life exciting”. You can also use small gestures, fill up the car with gas, turn on the coffee in the morning, bring the paper in.

And Terri also recommends that couples institute what she calls the ten-minute rule.

Sit down with your partner and talk for ten minutes about something other than work, family or who’s going to do what around the house. And I talked to couples and they would say that one of them started it going. Did some of these changes then the other partner did those changes in return.