Say What You Mean

March 24, 2010

Interview with Meryl Runion, author of the book Speak Strong, Say what you Mean, Mean what you Say, Don't be Mean when you say it.

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Mike Carruthers:
Say what you mean - it seems like simple straightforward advice but so often we don’t.

Meryl Runion:
So many of us have been taught not to say what we mean for the sake of social nicety or to keep the peace.
 

Meryl Runion, author of the book Speak Strong, Say what you Mean, Mean what you Say, Don't be Mean when you say it., says we don’t always know we’re being indirect when we speak but it happens a lot – particularly when we ask for something.

People generally appreciate it if you are just straightforward. Saying, “Will you pick up my printing for me this afternoon” rather than “Are you too busy to fit anything into your schedule this afternoon?” It’s so ironic because so often, Mike, we think, well I’m being gentle when I ask indirectly but people don’t like feeling manipulated. And when you ask indirectly there’s a tendency for people to feel manipulated.

And there are other ways we’re not direct in our speech.

A lot of women get branded as complainers because there’s a tendency to talk about what’s not working or about what we feel – but not actually asking for what we want. And by asking for what we want that creates a forward momentum.

So if speaking directly is better why do we so often not do it?

One of the big reasons is that we are afraid of repercussions. But the reality, Mike, is that we carry a lot of habits with us. When we were 5 years old and we didn’t know how to say things there were consequences of speaking up that might not still apply.
 

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here