Using Body Language Effectively - Part 2

 May 12, 2010

Interview with Tonya Reiman, author of the book The Yes Factor: Get What You Want. Say What You Mean. The Secrets of Persuasive Communication

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Mike Carruthers:
Body language can be very useful in business.

Tonya Reiman:
You know for instance if you’re going to interview a client one of the things you want to be able to do is to be able to see their feet – you want to be able to see their legs. So I would say take them to a place where you’re either sitting on the same side of them or on a couch.

Tonya Reiman, author of the book The Yes Factor...

And the reason you want to do that is because a lot of times body language leaks out of the lower half of the body. So someone could be looking you right in the eyes and you’re thinking, “Wow, great, great, great” but down below their feet are shaking or they’re crossing or uncrossing their ankles, or anything that’s closing them up.

Be aware that talking across a table can give the image of confrontation.

This isn’t on a conscious level, it’s not like the person you’re talking to is going, “Oh my goodness they’re being so confrontational” it just lends itself to feel more confrontational on that unconscious level. And you don’t find it as easy to bond with someone when you’re sitting directly across from them.

And Tonya says be very careful about invading someone’s personal space.

Perhaps you’re somebody that has like a 3-foot bubble that you like to keep. I step forward to you to tell you something and you feel I’ve invaded your space. And you don’t realize you’re doing this but maybe you take one foot and you move it back slightly. So I’d take another step forward and before you know it we’re doing this waltz. And what happens is when you invade someone’s space they feel like you’re being overly aggressive and that’s one of the biggest deal breakers.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here