What Is A "Good Dad"?" - Part 2

May 18, 2010

Interview with John Badalament, author of the book The Modern Dad's Dilemma: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World

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Mike Carruthers:
Today dads look at fatherhood differently then perhaps their dads did.

John Badalament:
Because let’s face it its being a dad is the most meaningful experience or got to be up there with the top 3 for most men I would say. This is the most important thing in our lives that so often doesn’t get talked about.

John Badalament, author of the book The Modern Dad's Dilemma, says being a great dad doesn’t mean being a pal.

The key distinction between being a parent and being a friend is that we don’t rely on our kids to meet our needs. The energy flows from us to them. We don’t lean on them for our issues. And the biggest thing is that as a parent we are always in charge we have to have our hands on the wheel.

But it’s easy for many fathers to fall into that fun dad role.

And there are lots of different reasons for this but what I try to say is that not setting limits and just doing fun is in a way it’s neglectful. Because kids need and depend on us to know where the limits stop.

So how do you be a good dad and still be in charge?

What I’m advocating is opening dialogue and opening up communication that doesn’t mean giving up your authority. That doesn’t mean that you don’t still set the rules, you don’t still set limits and you can do that. And I actually think kids feel safer and closer when they know that the parents are in charge.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here