When You "Click" With Someone

June 21, 2010

Interview with Ori Brafman, co-author of the book Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

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Mike Carruthers:
You’ve undoubtedly had the experience of meeting someone for the first time personally or professionally and you hit it off, you click.

Ori Brafman:
It turns out that the relationships that ensue from those kinds of connections are categorically different – mainly they’re more passionate.
 

Ori Brafman, co-author of the book Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

Often times when you click with someone we don’t follow up we don’t always give that relationship the energy that it deserves. And we automatically dismiss a love at first site relationship as being not as substantive, not as meaningful and yet the research shows that they are.

Even at work when coworkers click there’s often an attempt to separate them.

We don’t want friends working together because you want teams to be professional and yet teams that are made of clickers tend to be much more effective.

What makes people click in the first place? People with shared adversity often click and proximity has a lot to do with it.

So in one study they looked at college dorms and if you live next door to someone as opposed to 2 doors down you’re twice as likely to make friends with the person who lives next door to you.

And when you go another door down the chances of you clicking go off by half and then by half again. The second element looked at was vulnerability, which is when you express vulnerability to someone when you really share your true self, people tend to reciprocate that and there’s a trust that bonds people together.

To hear the complete unedited interview, click here