Why Some People Are So Unhappy
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July 9, 2009 Interview with Mardi Horowitz, M.D., author of A Course in Happiness
Mardi Horowitz, M.D.: |
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Psychiatrist Dr. Mardi Horowitz, author of the book A Course in Happiness, says being unhappy and blaming everyone else for your problems does serve a purpose.
When you're in a kind of self-righteous zone you're feeling strong and in a way it really does serve a function - in a sense it feels better than feeling very depressed or apathetic.
But it doesn't make you happy - statistically speaking people around the world tend to rate themselves about a seven on a one to ten scale of happiness. And interestingly Denmark scores the highest of all countries.
The most amusing thing happened when a man in Denmark was asked on the radio, "Why do you think the Danes score happy?" And he said, "Our expectations are so low". And there's a lot of wisdom in that - I don't mean it's good to have low expectations but that happiness is often the degree to which a person feels their life is matching what their goals for it were. If it's a good match, the person tends to be pretty content.
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See if you would be unhappy, I want a fence, had my property surveyed, neighbor who doesn't want me to have a fence moved my survey stakes, a felony, got away with it, scared away over 20 contractors, threatened to beat up my 91 year old friend if we put a fence in, has trees and other plants planted on my side of the property line, we had to go to court, he lied to the judge, cops stuck up for him that he didn't move my stakes, judge stuck up for him and said it could have been kids who moved the stakes, but how would they put them in exactly the spot the neighbor thinks the line should be, and no kid have ever done anything around here in the nine years I have owned this house, the city sticks up for him, they claim you can't have trees planted closer than 23 feet from the sidewalk, one of his trees is 14 1/2 feet from the sidewalk yet the city says it is perfectly ok, the city lets them keep a basketball hoop in the street and play basketball in the street all day with their kids and grandkids, they let their company park across my driveway and block me in, all this stuff they are doing is illegal and we have tried everything to get a fence put in and do everything legally and then the judge wanted 30 days to look at a picture of the area we are talking about but it would be impossible to tell by a picture where the property line is and then he wanted another 30 days and we still haven't heard anything, some people think this neighbor is printing money and that he has a body buried under those trees and that is why he doesn't want them dug up and then article say some people are depressed and unhappy because they are expecting too much and when they don't get it they blame other people and circumstances, how is any of this my fault when I am doing everything legally and all I want is a fence and they sit out there and smoke cigarettes and all their smoke blows over to my house and as soon as I open my front door I have a face full of smoke and they sit there and pick on me and laugh and do all kinds of antics when i go outside my house, who wouldn't be depressed that they can do all this stuff and have the city and cops and judge on their side when they are the ones breaking the law.
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