In The Radio Show

April 21, 2017

Interview with Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the book The Ecstasy Of Surrender

Mike Carruthers:
A great way to improve any relationship is to be the one who is willing to stop an argument.

Dr. Judith Orloff:
Just surrendering the need to be right with your spouse or partner can be so healthy for a relationship. I’ve seen so many relationships get into big trouble if nobody will give in.

Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the book The Ecstasy Of Surrender

It’s more important for people to be right than to have love. It’s just amazing how people cling to that need to be right. Even if you are right it might not get you your goal.

One of the reasons people do that is it’s so hard not to in the middle of an argument.

It means you have to let go of your ego and surrender your ego a little bit and say “Honey, that’s a great idea you are right.” Do you know how much better your relationship will be? As opposed to “You’re not listening to me, I’m right, these are the facts, and I’m not giving in.” It’s a very different energy when you can surrender and give something to other people that they want which is the need to be right, the need to be validated.

It may be hard to remember but maintaining a good relationship isn’t about who’s right.

It’s about loving, deeply, other people and feeling secure enough to say hey you’re right and I’m so happy about it.

And the rewards for doing this are pretty good.

You have fun. You spend your time enjoying yourself if you’re not all caught up in worry and fear and you can enjoy your mate.

Dr. Judith Orloff
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