Personal Power - Language

December 21, 2011

Interview with Tim Wilson, author of the book Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change

________________

Mike Carruthers:
Who you are or rather who you think you are is really the result of stories you tell yourself.

Tim Wilson:
So if we want to change in some way we can do so by trying to edit those stories.
 

December 12, 2011

Interview with Kristi Hedges, author of the book The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others

________________

Mike Carruthers:
Presence it’s a hard concept to define and yet…

Kristi Hedges:
We’re all experts at other people’s presence. We know when someone walks into the room we can almost feel what their presence is and what their command is of a room and the energy that they bring into the room. However if someone says to you, “What’s your presence?” you’re probably going to stumble a little bit in trying to describe it.
 

November 1, 2011

Interview with Dan Roam, author of the book Blah Blah Blah: What To Do When Words Don't Work

________________

Mike Carruthers:
When we’re talking with people socially or professionally our ideas and the stories we tell are simply a string of words.

Dan Roam:
The problem is that unless those ideas are really, really crystal clearly formed they’re just kind of like big fluffy clouds. We talk about this one for a moment and then it passes away and the next one comes along and we completely forget about the previous one.
 

October 27, 2011

Interview with Dr. Daniel Siegel, author of the book The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive

________________

Mike Carruthers:
Whenever you’re in the situation where someone else is upset and you need them to calm down, about the last thing you should say to them is to calm down.

Dr. Daniel Siegel:
I think the intention of calm down makes a lot of sense but the action to achieve it is often misplaced. In other words  if you say, “CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN” – that usually doesn’t get people to calm down.
 

September 20, 2011

Interview with Kerry Patterson, author of the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

________________

Mike Carruthers:
Those heated arguments we have with people seldom lead to a lasting solution because very quickly the goal becomes to win the argument not find a solution. So maybe there's a better way.

Kerry Patterson:
We suggest that the idea here is not to win, not to get your way but to come to a common understanding.
 

September 19, 2011

Interview with Kerry Patterson, author of the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

________________

Mike Carruthers:
You will occasionally have what you might call a crucial conversation which is…

Kerry Patterson:
One where opinions vary, the stakes are fairly high and when emotions start running strong and we start losing control of our temper.
 

September 15, 2011

Interview with Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of the book The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like

________________

Mike Carruthers:
If you want to be likeable to just about everyone smile.

Michelle Tillis Lederman:
A smile is universally understood, you can see a smile from almost 30 feet away. The smile immediately is disarming and opens up and invites somebody in.
 

August 22, 2011

Interview with Peter Guber, author of the book Tell to Win: Connect, Persuade, and Triumph with the Hidden Power of Story

________________

Mike Carruthers:
Trying to convince someone with facts and figures will never be as effective as using a story.

Peter Guber:
It’s the way we make sense of things, we’re narrative creatures we’re not digital creatures, we’re analog creatures. And our oral tradition, our ability to talk and communicate goes back 40 thousand years.
 

July 19, 2011

Interview with Don Gabor, author of the book How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends

________________

Mike Carruthers:
When you go to a social or business event in hopes of mingling you have to look approachable.

Don Gabor:
You want to have your body language open, in other words you want to have good eye contact, you want to smile, and you want to keep your arms unfolded. This is a….these are the signals that people pick up before you say one word.
 

July 18, 2011

Interview with Don Gabor, author of the book How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends

________________

Mike Carruthers:
When you speak with people in an attempt to establish a relationship, it’s important to realize what people are looking for in a conversation.

Don Gabor:
#1 is they want your attention; they want to know that you are listening – this is a basic human desire.