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Mike
Carruthers:
If
real love is true unconditional love, it would appear that few
relationships or marriages actually have it.
Greg Baer M.D.:
Most marriages are doomed, not from "I do";
they're doomed from the word "hello" because most couples
don't have enough real love right from the start.
Dr. Greg Baer,
author of the book Real
Love In Marriage…
When we understand
real love we understand this - the only time people ever attack
us, the only time they ever become angry is when they don't
feel loved themselves. People who feel loved never attack anybody
because when we feel loved, we have what matters more than anything
else on the planet.
By understanding
that, says Dr. Baer, anytime anyone gets angry at us we can
change the way we react.
Let's say, for example, that you come in, in my study here
and you say, "Greg, you are such a moron, you never pay
attention to anything I ask you to do." So, when I see
you attacking me, I realize that what you need is to be listened
to, you're just drowning - you're feeling empty and afraid and
if I defend myself I'm only going to make it worse. So, what
I would say to you is, " Well, I'm sure I've done all that
and more - so tell me, what do you need me to do?" In that
single moment, I've given you listening, I've given you understanding
- you will feel so disarmed and loved that the conflict will
be over.
You can link
to Dr. Baer's website
from ours: somethingyoushouldknow.net
- I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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