Transcripts

February 5, 2004:
A New Way Of Looking At Negotiation II
Interview with Jim Camp, author of Start With No

Jim Camp:
People are afraid to say the word no, they're afraid of hurting feelings, they're afraid of failure. When in reality, no is nothing more than a decision to be changed.

Jim Camp, author of the book Start With No, says in many ways the American idea of "win/win" negotiation has hurt our ability to negotiate.

As H. Ross Perot said we've lost the art of negotation in this country. He tells the story of the American driving through the desert in his Landrover, and he sees a tent with 8 or 9 beautiful camels and decides he wants to buy a camel. So he drives up to the tent, and says to the sheik, "I would really like to buy this camel," and the sheik immediately says "oh my goodness, I could never sell you that camel it's a family pet." So the American gets in the car and drives away. The sheik is so befuddled he starts chasing him and yells to the American, "I thought you wanted to buy that camel?" We don't know how to negotiate; we don't realize that negotiations start with no.

But our kids certainly do.

We say no you can't do that. Ok daddy. Ten minutes later, daddy please. Honey no. Ten minutes later, daddy please, I really want to do this, all my friends are doing it, daddy please. Ok. Well what just happened? The child doesn't give up; it's just a negation, it's just a decision to be changed.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net, I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.