Mike Carruthers:
Ever
notice how hard it is to say no to people? Why is that?
Jana
Kemp:
Because people are so conditioned in, particularly in Western
culture, to say yes to be seen as a team player.
Jana
Kemp, author of the book, NO!
How One Simple Word Can Transform Your Life…
We're
all so culturally raised to think of others first and to say,
yes in order to be helpful.
If you'd
like to stop feeling obligated to saying, yes to everything
and everyone Jana has some great tips.
First
of all recognizing that yes is not the obligated phrase and
to stop feeling guilty if we say no. To change the behavior
the best thing to do is to start with the simple no's. Say "No
thank you" in a restaurant. Say, " No thank you I
don't need help" in a store when someone's trying to help
you. That way you're practicing in safe environments to work
your way up to saying no to the people that it's harder to say
no to.
And very
importantly, says Jana, if you take a minute and step back and
think of the consequences to your saying yes or no you're less
likely to just automatically say yes.
And that's
really the decision point, Mike, is what are the consequences?
There are positive consequences from saying no. We have our
boundaries protected we protect our children; we protect our
assets and our resources. But there are sometimes negative consequences;
back to, people see you as not being a team player if you just
say no right out of the gate.
Tomorrow,
how to say no without upsetting anybody. I'm Mike Carruthers
and that's Something You Should Know.
|
