Transcripts

Robert A Glover:
Since World War II, the number has increased dramatically. I would estimate that maybe one in four to one in three American males are nice guys.

Dr. Robert Glover, author of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy, believes nice guys are people-pleasers who have been raised and influenced primarily by women.

I talk with recovering nice guys about developing what I call a "mature self-interest." The first response is, "Well, what are you saying, that I should become a jerk?" because they only see that as the other alternative. Really, what we're doing is learning how to be yourself. And some of the basic things that I work with nice guys is learning how to make their needs a priority and at the same time, can be adaptive and flexible and compassionate when need be.

And Dr. Glover believes that nice guys need to be assured that…

…it's okay to be male. Most nice guys have grown up with a certain amount of shame or embarrassment for just being male. So one of the things I work with nice guys on is learning to embrace their maleness. That's one reason why I encourage recovering nice guys to join some kind of group of men, whether it's a men's recovery group or just go do guy things with guys. That's a really important part of the recovery process. So if you're a nice guy and you're wanting to begin to get a sense that it's okay to be male, you're going to have to spend more time hanging out with men than you do with women.

For transcripts, visit our website, somethingyoushouldknow.net. I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know."