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Mike
Carruthers:
The words and phrases we use sends signals to others about who we are - like the
phrase, "I'll try".
Debra Fine:
When I say, "I'll try"
that sounds weak, that sounds submissive. If your goal is to not necessarily sound
aggressive but just sound comfortable in your own skin, don't use the words, "I'll
try". Communications
expert Debra Fine, author of the book The
Fine Art of the Big Talk… Instead
of saying, "I'll try to get with you on Tuesday, Mike, about that project"
- tell him what you will do. "I will get back to you by the end of
the week, Tuesday's my goal but you can count on this; I will get back to you
by Friday". Not "I'll try to get back to you by Tuesday" - don't
tell somebody what you'll try to do because there's no commitment involved. Debra
says this kind of assertive language is effective both at work and at home. You
are more effective when you use the "I" word. For example, "I need
to do this for myself, Mom" instead of "You always butt into my business,
Mom". And the same goes with somebody at work; instead of saying "You
know you never get things handed in on time - that's why I'm always in trouble
with the boss" instead " I need these things in by Friday, this is what
I need". Creating
a spirit of cooperation is important, so when someone asks, "Can you get
this done for me?" And
if you say, "Well, I'll have to check with accounting before I can do that"
- it sounds like it's a huge burden when you say, "I'll have to."
How about saying " I'll be glad to check with accounting and get back
to you".
At
somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know. |
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