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Mike Carruthers:
In our attempts
to get people to do what we want, perhaps we should take a cue from professional
animal trainers.
Amy Sutherland:
And that is that any living
creature, no matter how big its brain is, gravitates to something it wants and
avoids something it doesn't like. Amy
Sutherland, author of the book
What Shamu Taught Me About Life Love & Marriage… The
way it works with humans is someday you find that somebody isn't bringing home
a Valentine's Day present anymore or just not doing the nice little things that
you really used to like and it's because they weren't getting much attention or
recognition for it. So, the idea is to be sure to be watching for what people
do that you like and making sure that you encourage it rather than what most of
us do which is, focus on what we don't like and make a big deal out of that. Another
thing that animal trainers do is they focus on behaviors they likely can change. For
example an elephant can stand on its back legs or stand on its head but physiologically
it cannot jump. So you're going to waste a lot of time trying to teach an elephant
to jump. Similarly
people have traits that are almost impossible to change, so perhaps we should
stop trying to change them. You
know a lot of times we think she doesn't do this or he doesn't do that because
they don't love me enough. And really what it is, is they're doing this behavior
just because it's an old habit and its got nothing to do with you.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know. |
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