Mike Carruthers:
Being
nice is OK, but being too nice, being a doormat that's a problem
- take it from someone who's been there.
Daylle Deanna
Schwartz:
I was the worst of the doormats, I would do anything for anybody.
Someone would step on my foot and I'd say, "I'm sorry".
Daylle Deanna
Schwartz, author of the book Nice
Girls Can Finish First, says that's a good place to start
- when you say you're sorry for something you didn't do - try
finishing your sentence…
If you are sorry,
say why you're sorry and every time you say you're sorry make
sure you clarify why and you're going to pay attention more
and realize that you're not really sorry.
If you want to
be taken seriously and not treated like a doormat, Daylle says
lower your voice.
Speak slower
so if you get emotional you've got a little latitude. Enunciate
your words - I mean my normal talking voice is like this but
if I want to be taken seriously I speak like this (slower) -
and people pay attention.
A great role
model for people who are too nice but don't want to be is Meryl
Streep's character in the film The Devil Wears Prada.
She never raised
her voice but you knew she meant business. Now you combine that
kind of voice with a smile and a little bit of a friendly attitude
and people take notice. It's talk softly but carry a big stick
and the stick is your attitude, which is, "Hey I mean business
but I'm not looking to hurt anybody".
You can link
to Daylle's website from
ours: somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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