Transcripts

Martin Friedman :
The message that men have gotten from women - at least a lot of women - is that we're wrong. That we need to be more like women, we need to listen more like women, talk more like women and I think that's a mistake.

Martin Freidman, author of the book, Straight Talk For Men About Marriage.

The way that that is often translated to men is that we get more criticism and when men get criticism we feel shame. Men take criticism as shaming; meaning that we haven't performed, that we haven't taken care of our women and so on. So 1 of the things I really encourage women to do is let men communicate like men. Can we improve, can we listen better and talk about what we think and feel better? Sure. But we're never going to do it up to the standards of women and the way women do.

Men can't be like women, says Martin, because, well, we're men! So it would be helpful if women would lower that expectation.

So first of all, let us communicate that way. Secondly, let us perform and be heroes in whatever way we can. Men want to feel like heroes. And third we need appreciation. Instead of making us wrong and criticizing, we need a lot of appreciation. So those are some of the things I tell women that their part of this is.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net, I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.