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Mike Carruthers:
People hold grudges and stop speaking to friends and family members
for important reasons at least they seemed important at the time,
however…
Laura
Davis:
When you hold on to a grudge against someone for something they
did in the past it can really be counter-productive because what
seems like a bitter rift at one point ten years later may look
very different.
Laura
Davis, author of the book,
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again believes it's often worth
trying to reconcile these relationships but you have to get
past the petty stuff.
And a
lot of the times that is one of the biggest obstacles to reconciliation;
it's your turn to call me, I contacted you first the last time,
you hurt me so you should contact me. And really if your goal
is to reconcile you have to let all that go right out the window.
If you want the relationship then you have to fight for it,
and don't keep score.
If you
are going to attempt a reconciliation Laura believes a letter
or an email is a better first step than a phone call or a visit.
And when you do communicate with the person you which to reconcile
with it's not necessary to talk all the problems through right
away.
It's
good to start a relationship if you're trying to reconcile with
someone start in the present and find some small way you could
connect right now and start building a contemporary relationship.
It could be going to a sporting event, find a small safe way
to start building some positive experiences. And don't try to
have your big heavy conversation in the first five minutes because
that's sure to undermine what you're trying to do.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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