Mike
Carruthers:
Guilt is a useful emotion. It keeps us from doing
bad things. Toxic guilt, on the other hand, is not so good.
Susan Carrell:
Toxic guilt is good guilt that's gone wrong. It's the kind of guilt that keeps
you trapped in relationships or situations that you really do not want to be in. Susan
Carrell, author of the book Escaping
Toxic Guilt, says a good example is staying in a bad or abusive relationship
because the guilt you would feel if you left would be unbearable - that is toxic
guilt. Who typically suffers from it? They
tend to be people who are overly giving, hyper-responsible and they're inclined
to rescue. If you were taught that your needs were never really quite as important
as the needs of other people, then you grew up feeling guilty if you're not accommodating
other people.
Taking small steps to assert your needs is a good way to start getting over
toxic guilt.
For
example: decide you're NOT going to have the whole family at your house for Thanksgiving
next year again. Decide you'll fix what you want for dinner tomorrow night. Decide
you will play golf next Saturday. Basically, decide that your needs and desires
are just as important as somebody else's. And
you'll likely find when you do this it's not nearly as difficult as you thought. You
have to feel the fear and do it anyway even though you might feel that discomfort.
It's incredibly liberating. At
somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know. | 
