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Mike
Carruthers:
In
a relationship that is unhappy, men and women generally speaking,
look at that relationship very differently.
Michael French:
Men brood on their unhappiness - a lot of men that I
talk to said, "Isn't it natural that you're going to have
a certain level of unhappiness in your relationship?" Men
never achieve total happiness in a relationship because that's
not how they define their happiness.
Michael French,
author of the book Why
Men Fall Out Of Love…
They define their
happiness according to their work or their hobbies, or perhaps
their male friends. There's this feeling in a lot of men that
relationships are kind of a go along to get along sort of situation.
Women on the
other hand look at an unhappy relationship differently.
Generally women
when they're unhappy, they tend to act on it. For example, two
out of three divorces statistically are initiated by women -
they make a decision, "You know what, this just isn't going
to work, I'm out of here." And you'd be surprised that
when they tell their guy, "I'm sorry, I want out of this
relationship" how shocked he is.
Awareness of
all of this is so important, says Michael, and doing what he
calls a relationship audit.
What simply means
hey check in with where you are compared to where you were last
year. Are you happier, or are you less happy? Why? Are you in
a different path than your partner, are you growing at different
rates, or at different directions? Relationships are never in
a vacuum - they're always contracting or expanding and you have
to contract or expand with them or they're not going to hold
together.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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