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May 4, 2004:
Difference Between Privacy And Secrecy In Marriage
Interview
with Charlie Bloom co-author of 101
Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married
Mike
Carruthers:
In a marriage or any relationship there is a big difference between
privacy and secrecy.
Charlie
Bloom:
Then its a crucial distinction, the main difference is in intention
Charlie
Bloom, co-author of the book 101
Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married...
If there's
an intention that a person has to conceal some information that's
vital to the relationship, there's dishonesty in that. Secrecy
has an element of deception and dishonesty.
But that's
different than privacy.
Privacy
is simply the recognition that there's no requirement for me
to reveal everything in my life, every detail in my life to
you. And a certain amount of privacy not only is legitimate,
but I think it's necessary and responsible.
So for example,
if you're having a flirtatious relationship with someone at
work and you're spending more time with that person and you
don't tell your partner for fear for what they'll think, do,
or say, that's secrecy.
We're
not saying that you should never have friendships or relationships
with people of the opposite sex, but what we are suggesting
is that if you have it, and it's a secret, and you conceal that
from you partner out of the fear of what they might think, or
what might happen to the relationship, it's going to affect
you, it's going to affect them, it's going to affect the relationship
even if they don't find out about it. And more often than not
people do find out, and then you've really got a mess to cleanup.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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