Mike
Carruthers:
Knowing how to read people gives you a real advantage
when you're communicating with them.
Paul
Tieger:
You know we've all heard the golden rule: do unto others
as you would like done unto you. But in communicating it really has to be the
other way. It's got to be do unto others as they would like done unto them - it's
not about us it's about them. Paul
Tieger, author of the book The
Art of Speed Reading People… It's
very easy (for example) for an extrovert to overwhelm an introvert. So if I know
I'm talking to an introvert there are some very basic things that I should do
if I want to connect with that person. First of all, I should slow down. Second,
I should focus on one thing at a time. The third thing is, I should ask some questions
and shut up long enough so they have a chance to think their answers. If I just
do those three things with an introvert they're going to feel so much more comfortable
with me because I'm honoring who they are. This
is all based on the notion that… Communication
is always easiest between people who are similar and it's always more challenging
the more different people are. Put it this way - feeling types are people who
really cherish and value relationships. Thinking types, not so much - they're
buying a car, they don't really care if they like you are not. But feeling types
- whether they like you or not is very, very important and is central to the decision.
So it only makes sense if you're trying to sell somebody something or trying to
influence them or even just trying to manage them and get them to be more productive
with a project - if you know that this is a person who's a relationship person,
take a few minutes to try to get to know them - as opposed to just charging in
there and getting down to business. Tomorrow
more techniques to speed-read people - I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something
You Should Know. | 
