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May 12, 2004:
Managing
Your Mother
Interview
with Alyce Cleese author of How
To Manage Your Mother
Mike
Carruthers:
It's a fairly common experience that as children become adults
their relationship with mom becomes more difficult.
Alyce
Cleese:
I think we forget to look at our mother as a complete and whole
person, we just want her to stay mummy.
Alyce Faye
Cleeses, author the book How
To Manage Your Mother...
And we
have to begin to look at her in a different way, she was a wife,
perhaps a lover, a mistress, a professional, and she's changing
just as we're changing.
To better
understand your mother, Alyce says you need to understand her
past.
Because
she maybe the best mother she knows how because of her own mothering.
You also should ask people who knew your mother or know your
mother. Find out what she's like with others, and why, if so,
she's so different with you, and try to look at that. Ask your
mother, very simply, and directly how you can make her life
better.
A common
complaint about mothers is that even though we're now adults,
mom is still trying to run our lives, but Alyce says we're partly
to blame for that.
We always
seem to go back to the kitchen table; do you know what I mean.
Instead of choosing a venue or a place where we feel strong,
perhaps in our own office or in our home we tend to go where
our mother has the power. And then, of course, we immediately
become the little child again. I think you can listen to her
and you can say, "yes mother I hear what your saying, but
I'm an adult now, and I am controlling my life and I'm not choosing
to do that. So thank you for your suggestion, but no I'm not
going to do that.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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