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May
13, 2003:
Step-Families
Interview
with Sue Patton Thoele author of The
Courage To Be A Stepmom
Mike
Carruthers:
There are more stepfamilies in this country than there are nuclear
families, and being in a stepfamily isn't always easy.
Sue
Patton Thoele:
Everybody comes to a stepfamily, Mike, with their own grief.
It's a relationship born of loss.
Sue Patton
Thoele author of the book The
Courage To Be A Stepmom.
We have
as one of our main models "The Brady Bunch." It doesn't
work like that. Both of "The Brady Bunch" parents
were widowed. In most stepfamilies there is another father and
there is another mother. That's big.
Sue believes
expecting life to be like "The Brady Bunch" is the
source for a lot of stress in stepfamilies.
And the
other thing that women have a tendency to do is become responsibility
sponges, and really believe that if the family isn't going the
way they hoped it would, that they somehow can fix it. And that's
one of the things…I think that stepmoms should leave their expectations
at the altar, and let it unfold. Go slowly and let the relationships
unfold and grow.
And talking
to other stepmoms can be very useful.
Because
they have the experience and they can give you some ideas. And
they can also let you know that you're not banana cakes. That
you're not just crazy. That you're not a witch, because a lot
of stepmothers have that feeling.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know."
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