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May 19, 2004:
Raising
Teenagers Today
Interview
with Dr. Neil Bernstein author of How
To Keep Your Teenager Out Of Trouble
Mike
Carruthers:
What does it take to raise a teenager today?
Neil
Bernstein:
I'm very found of saying that if a parent spends 10 quality
minutes with a teenager a day, they're probably doing fine.
Adolescent
psychologist Dr. Neil Bernstein, author of the book How
To Keep You Teenager Out Of Trouble...
You know
quality dialog is about an interchange; the parent shouldn't
talk anymore than the kid talks. And it's really important that
the parent know how to enter the teenager's world. We need to
talk to them about what their interested in, we need to learn
about them, we need to show them that we care and that we're
interested. We need to demonstrate on an ongoing basis, that's
what we mean about getting involved with kids.
Too often
Dr. Bernstein says that doesn't happen.
One complaint
I frequently hear from kids is something like, "all they
care about is my school grades, they don't even know who I am,
they don't know that I play the guitar, they don't know what
songs I play, they don't know what music I like, they don't
know me." And I think that's what we're seeing more of
these days.
And Dr.
Berstein wishes that parents would not say to their kids, "no,
because I said so."
For most
kids they need to hear the WHY. "No." "Why? Why
can't I go out," to this party or that. "Why can't
I stay out? Why can't I sleep over at someone's house during
the week?" So it's important to say you know, "I'm
sorry you can't do this and here's my reasons," and explain
it to the kid, but blind obedience just doesn't cut it.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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