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May
21, 2003:
Helping People In Crisis
Interview
with Lauren Littauer Briggs author of The
Art Of Helping
Mike
Carruthers:
Have you ever been in the situation where a friend or family member
is suffering from a crisis, or ill and in the hospital and you
really want to help?
Lauren
Littauer Briggs:
While people have a desire to help, we feel insecure and
don't really know what to do. Therefore, we do nothing.
Lauren Littauer
Briggs author of the book The
Art Of Helping.
There
are some very specific dos and don'ts. And probably the first
one I would say is don't try to minimize this experience with
comments like, "Well, you're strong. You can handle this,"
or "Things could be worse." What we need to do is
offer understanding statements and affirm the difficulty they're
facing with statements like, "I wish I could take the hurt
away," or "This must be very hard for you."
It's a good
idea, says Lauren, not to offer advice to a person in a crisis.
Especially
if it hasn't been solicited, but instead offer support and encouragement.
Another don't. Don't say, "Oh, I know just how you feel,
" or "Oh, you know a friend of mine had the same thing."
The reality is we don't know how they feel. We are not them.
We haven't walked the same path. What we need to do is listen.
We need to listen to their heart, and have an understanding
of what they are experiencing--even if we might have faced a
similar experience.
Tomorrow,
other ways you can help a friend in need.
I'm Mike
Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know."
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