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May
29, 2007:
Male/Female Communication II
Interview
with Connie Glaser, author of
Gender Talk Works
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Mike
Carruthers:
Women
often complain that men don't take them seriously in conversation.
Connie Glaser:
There are speech mannerisms in particular that women
tend to use that can discredit them.
Connie Glaser,
author of the book Gender
Talk Works…
The first is
what I call "tag questions". Let me give you an example;
"That really was an excellent report, didn't you think?
The next meeting will be at 4 o'clock - will that work for everyone?"
So you make a good statement and then you flip it into a question
- not a bad thing to do occasionally. But if you do it repeatedly,
it's going to demonstrate a sense of lack of certainty and self-assuredness.
Women also use
what Connie calls "disqualifiers".
At the beginning
of a sentence you preface it with a phrase that ends up discrediting
you. For instance, "You may think this is a stupid question,
but…" Typically the men at the table will hear two words:
"stupid question" - and it gives them a reason not
to listen.
Connie says men
and women have different patterns of speaking that tend to keep
women out of the conversation.
Women's typical
pattern of speech is: I talk it's my turn, you talk it's your
turn - it's very clear whose turn it is. With guys: one guy
talks, another jumps in, another guys overlays him and it becomes
much more of a verbal free-for-all. There aren't those clear-cut
lines of conversational demarcation.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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