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Mike
Carruthers:
Parenting
today is different than in previous generations. Today parents
are generally less strict, more democratic and more friendly with
their kids - which may not be a good thing.
Thomas Habib
PhD :
We do need to recapture some of the authority - we do
need to become the parents and not try to be the friends of
children today. The family functions best as a benevolent dictatorship,
not a democracy.
Clinical Psychologist,
Dr. Thomas Habib, author of the book,
If These Walls Could Talk, says recapturing some of your
parental authority takes a little effort.
What you do is
you learn some of the techniques of having parental authority.
Not getting reeled in on every argument - learning how to use
non-verbal cues like cold shoulder and disapproval and to switch
the balance where they work for your approval rather than the
parents performing for the child's approval.
Many parents
today grew up in very strict households and vowed never to repeat
that with their children. But Dr. Habib says in many cases the
pendulum has swung too far the other way where we don't teach
our kids rules, boundaries and responsibilities - it's just
my kid, right or wrong.
We don't want
love unconditional. Love unconditional creates children that
are lazy, they're very entitled - unconditional love just creates
apathy among children.
Tomorrow: Why
a child's self -esteem has to be earned not learned - I'm Mike
Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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