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June 22, 2004:
Good
Parenting II
Interview
with Dr. Laurence Steinberg author of the book, The
10 Basic Principles Of Good Parenting
Mike Carruthers:
Can you love your child too much?
Dr.
Laurence Steinberg:
I think a lot of parents believe that they can spoil
a child by being too loving. Research studies indicate that you
can't be too loving to a child. You can spoil a child with material
possessions but you can't spoil a child with genuine affection.
Dr. Laurence Steinberg author
of the book The
10 Basic Principles Of Good Parenting says that's true even
in the case of teenagers who at times act as if they don't want
affection from their parents.
You know
my experience Mike is that teenagers are like that when their
parents express affection in public but that they are not likely
to react that way when it's done privately. Even teenagers still
like to know that their parents really admire them and care
about them.
And when
it comes to appropriate punishment for your child …..
There are three types of punishments that are very very effective.
For young children a time-out is a very effective form of punishment.
And the general rule of thumb is one minute of time-out for
each year that the child is. So, four minutes for a four year
old is an effective punishment. A second type of punishment
that works very well is some sort of deprivation of privileges.
Taking something away from the child that the child cares about
or enjoys. And then the third, really, and if you have a warm
relationship with your child, this is the most effective, is
to tell your child that you are disappointed in what he or she
did. That often will really change the child behavior.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers, and that's Something You Should Know.
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