Mike Carruthers:
Marriage
today is different than it has ever been.
Dr. John
Jacobs:
We
now require that marriage actually be a satisfying if not pleasure
inducing experience.
Psychiatrist
John Jacobs, author of the book All
You Need Is Love And Other Lies About Marriage.
Whereas
in the past, many couples if not almost all couples would have
stayed together even if they were not particularly happy in
their marriage. Today marriages are far more likely to come
apart if they're not happy.
Dr. Jacobs believes most marriages can be saved with some
effort.
Probably
the greatest difficulty for most people saving their marriage
is that they become complacent and they don't do anything to
fix it even though they know that one or both of the spouses
is unhappy. This creates a tremendous amount of resentment in
couples over time. Then by the time someone like me gets called
in to intervene, it is often too late because there is no longer
enough motivation to get them to work on it.
It's
Dr Jacobs experience that, in a troubled marriage…
Spouses
are willing to give up their anger if they feel that they are
less hurt and getting more of what they want out of the marriage
themselves. The problem is we get stuck in these standoffs in
which you don't want to give to your spouse because you feel
your spouse isn't giving you what you want.
Tomorrow,
some simple strategies to improve any marriage. I'm
Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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