Transcripts

Bonnie Harris:
Whether it's a look that your child gives; whether it's certain clothes that they chose to wear; whether it's a perfectly age-appropriate tantrum, but it happens to be in the supermarket.

Parent-educator Bonnie Harris author of the book When Your Kids Push Your Buttons.

The problem comes when the button goes off and we lose it. And when that happens, authority slides out the window, and we can't do or say what we need to do.

Bonnie says that although it's very, very hard to do,

Don't react. Know that absolutely nothing effective can be learned or taught in that moment. So, walk away. Get out of it. Take your child out of the situation, whatever, and come back to it when your emotions calm down.

It's important says Bonnie to understand why kids push your buttons.

They're actually asking for some kind of a need to be met, but the only way they know how to do that is with their behavior. Whether it's, "I need to feel more accepted. I need to feel more important to you." Whatever it is may come out in that behavior, but if we don't look at the need, the child knows, "Well, that didn't get taken care of. So, next time I've got to get louder or harder or more intense."

You can link to Bonnie's web site from ours somethingyoushouldknow.net. I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know."