Transcripts

Michael French:
I think a lot of men feel marginalized in relationships, I think, the ones that I talked to, a lot of them felt their role was sort of taken for granted.

Michael French, author of the book, Why Men Fall Out Of Love interviewed forty men to discover what goes on in the male mind that causes relationships to end.

A lot of men find themselves performing multiple roles, like, you know making a living, taking the kids to soccer but there comes a point where they would like some validation, respect and acknowledgment of the roles that they play. And a lot of them when they don't get that they begin to feel taken for granted.

Of course women often say they are taken for granted in relationships.

The key difference is that when things start to go awry women have a great capacity to network with other women and to get support, to get opinion and to get validation from that. But when men begin to emotionally disengage they tend to internalize it and keep it a secret.

If both men and women tried to prevent that disengagement a lot of relationships would be saved says Michael. Because often when men feel unimportant and taken for granted…

They will tend to find things to make themselves feel better. They will often immediately seek out another woman to feel that they're really a man, that they're really ok. And if they can't do that they'll bury themselves in their work or they'll do something to make themselves feel good. They rarely go to other men to get commiseration or sympathy because they're afraid of judgment.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.