|
July 26, 2004:
I'm
Right, You're Wrong
Interview
with JacLynn Morris author of the book, I'm
Right. You're Wrong. Now What?
Mike
Carruthers:
When you think about it, just about every argument you have
is an I'm right, you're wrong kind of conversation..
JacLynn
Morris:
If we stay hung up in the I'm right you're wrong
and argue our position we're not getting anywhere.
JacLynn
Morris, co-author of the book I'm
Right. You're Wrong. Now What?.
When
you can use a quick problem solving solution that gets you calmer
and looking at what you really want your mind opens up to look
for creative strategies that you might otherwise have missed.
Often we
try to find a solution to an argument in the heat of the argument
and JacLynn says that's about the worst time to do it.
Sometimes
you can develop shorthand conversation and you go," Opps,
here we are in that same I'm right, you're wrong moment".
Let's take a break, see you later. And that gives you both a
cooling off time. And then you use the next couple of hours
thinking about what it is that you really want. People have
a lot of trouble with that; they tend to be able to tell you
what they don't want. I don't want her to do this, I don't want
him to do this, why can't he be like I am.
And for
those arguments that happen over and over again.
A lot
of couples come up with nicknames for the problem. One woman
was telling us that her husband chews with his mouth open and
in public it drives her crazy. She doesn't want to embarrass
him, so she simply leans forward, and they've worked this out
in advance, and she says "twelve" he knows what that
means and he stops and he's not embarrassed.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
|
