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Mike
Carruthers:
Flattery can get you everywhere, if you know how to do it right.
Richard Stengel:
Flattery works. People like you, if you show that you like
them, and there are some effective techniques to being a better
flatterer. One of the classic techniques is to be specific so
that you don't say to someone, "You're the greatest."
You say, "Mike, you're a wonderful interviewer, and in fact
I remember an interview you did several years ago with this sheepherder
in New Zealand, that really changed my life."
Richard Stengel,
author of the book You're
Too Kind-A Brief History of Flattery
Dale Carnegie
always talked about "Find something you really like about
someone, and tell them. It's much easier to praise someone,
it's much easier to flatter someone if it actually reflects
something you kind of believe, and you can actually torque up
the belief to make it seem like you're sincere. Essentially
Dale Carnegie said that once you fake sincerity, nothing really
can stop you.
Flattering someone
behind their back is also very effective.
So, if I said
to someone that you know, "Boy I did this interview with
this guy the other day and it was just fantastic and it really
went well." and it gets back to you, and you think that's
honest praise because I'm not actually sucking up to you directly
and in person, where we can sometimes be skeptical of it.
And another technique
is to add a little bitter with the sweet.
You don't just
say "The play was wonderful." You say "You know
that first act, there was a moment there where my attention
was diverted, but the rest of the play was better than Hamlet."
For transcripts
visit our website somethingyoushouldknow.net.
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's "Something You Should Know."
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