Transcripts

Sheenah Hankin, PhD:
I define confidence as a form of emotional maturity, an ability to manage all the negative feelings that people have calmly, quickly, directly so we can make good decisions and not be in our own way in life.

Psychologist Sheenah Hankin, author of the book Complete Confidence, says lack of confidence comes from what it is you think and feel about yourself.

And if you look around, you'll see a lot of people who don't handle their feelings well and people who freak out or sulk, people who live in the state of worry, people who feel very, very self-critical and I'm extremely keen on people giving that up.

Worrying about what might happen in the future or what other people think can suck the confidence right out of people. And a lot of people suffer from this to one degree or another.

They tend to see the world from a dark perspective - bad things are going to happen. Well no one can fortune-tell the future, but I want people to see the world as a safe place, as a place that has a lot of opportunity, that is not out to get you.

Gaining self-confidence requires that you stop thinking and start acting.

Sometimes that means taking a risk, that means lifting up the phone, calling that person you're frightened to call, asking for the raise. And the third thing, the most important thing, is manage the feeling. Manage it to reduce it, so you're freer to begin to change your life.

Tomorrow more ways to become confident - I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.