Transcripts

Sheenah Hankin, PhD:
This country really suffers from something very serious. We talk about the price of gas being such a problem for the economy. What about the price of lack of confidence? All of these people in the country who are not fulfilling their potential, who have difficult relationships and don't know why.

Psychologist Sheenah Hankin, author of the book Complete Confidence, says lack of confidence is pretty much all in your head, it's what you feel about yourself, which is not reality.

Feelings are not real and feelings are not to be trusted. First of all write down all your negative thinking, make a list of all your darkest thoughts. Breathe slowly and read it back to yourself - it will begin to look dramatic to you. You know, "I can't stand this, this is terrible, I'm overwhelmed, I'll never get out of this hole" - just listen to that! Wait a minute - let's reduce the emotion in that, and then rewrite the list. I'd say, "This is a difficult situation, I have a set of decisions to make, I can calm my anxiety if I breathe slowly and tell myself that somehow it'll work out" - and then you can begin to make decisions.

Always trying to please other people is a symptom of, and a cause of lack of self-confidence.

Instead follow my great belief (my philosophic belief) that we have to sit with ourselves and say, "Sheenah what's the right thing to do at this moment and time?" - and if the right thing is to disappoint somebody let me do it kindly. But let me do the right thing, not what somebody else wants.

At somethingyoushouldknow.net I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.