|
August 19, 2004
Shyness
Interview
with Bonnie Jacabson,author of the book The
Shy Single
Mike
Carruthers:
Shyness, what is it exactly?
Stephen
Brobeck:
Shyness is an inborn trait, it's a predisposition towards
fearfulness, it's biologically pre-determined.
Bonnie Jacobson
author of the book The
Shy Single says the idea that shy people need to get over
their shyness if absurd.
And what
really they need to learn to do is how to manage this predisposition.
And actually also to affirm what's fantastic about shy people
in general. Often shy people are very good listeners, they're
often very loyal they can be very funny cause they tend to make
fun of themselves.
We've all
been in situations where we feel intimidated but shyness is
different, says Bonnie, shy people suffer shyness attacks.
And there's
three parts to a shyness attack. There's fear of initiation,
then there's overload, which is freezing or flooding and then
the third part is obsessive criticizing afterwards. Oh I spoke
too much, or oh I spoke too little whatever way you're criticizing
yourself.
Fifty percent
of the population admits to some degree of shyness. So learning
to live with your shyness is probably a much better strategy
than just trying to get over it.
How are
you supposed to get over it anymore than you get over having
blue eyes? Rather than get over it you want to enjoy having
blue eyes and not wish you had brown eyes.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
|
