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August 20, 2004
Problems In Adult Step Families
Interview
with Grace Gabe, M.D.,author of the book Step
Wars
Mike
Carruthers:
Step families with adult children. Conventional wisdom is
there won't be much problem there because well the children
are grown.
Grace
Gabe:
Absolutely wrong. There are lots of problems.
Dr. Grace Gabe author of the book Step
Wars says adult children are often surprised by their own
feelings when mom or dad remarry.
They can
feel that they are going to be displaced by a stepparent who
may limit access to their mom or dad. And for adult stepchildren
it's going to be are their inheritance going to be delayed or
diluted or completely disappear into the hands of the new stepfamily.
So discussing
these issues, though difficult has to be done. And Dr. Gabe
says adult children whose parents remarry have to change their
mindset.
Really deciding
you're going to build a roll for yourself and figurine out just
what kind of relationship you want and then going about the
daily monthly whatever it takes to get that to happen. Not just
wishing gee I'd like to have some more contact with my parent
but really setting it up. For people who do that they are genuinely
finding that they are successful. That they just wear down the
other person even if the stepparent doesn't want to be friendly
with them. You really don't have to take no for an answer.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net,
I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
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